I-S interrupts the evil plans of the Ugly Step Sisters (don’t tell them we said that!) Precious and Treasure (played by Chua Enlai and Darius Tan respectively) in time for a quick (and quintessentially Singlish and bitchy) chat about… well, you’ll find out.
So Precious, what’s so precious about you?
Precious: I am as rare as the most delicious hairy crab. Treasure, on the other hand, is just hairy.
Treasure: Oi! I am not hairy, OK! Just a few strands here and there! Yeah, you are a rarity so better lock you up far away so no one can see you!
And Treasure? Why do you think your parents named you that?
P: Heavy, mah.
T: So rude, Precious! Mummy and Daddy gave me this name because I am “treasurably” gorgeous!
Do you think you’re very pretty?
P: No, I am like the Suites class in the A380. I am beyond pretty. There are no words to describe me apart from gorgeous, highly attractive, simply irresistible and sedap!
T: Yeah, I agree totally, sister! But I am the gorgeouser, attractiver, irresistabler and sedaper sister!
Describe your Prince Charming.
P: A millionbilliontrillionkerjillionaire. But don’t get me wrong; I am very independent. Very vogue to say that now, right?
T: Ooh my Prince Charming must be rich and handsome, and must obey and listen to me all the time! I like to be in control lah.
What will your wedding be like?
P: It will be the grandest ball in the universe. In fact it will be like a Miss Universe pageant, telecast all over the world but with me as the winner. Got national costume, evening wear and even a swimsuit catwalk! Every year, I’ll win.
T: Wah Precious, you want to get married every year ah? Mine will be a beautiful and big safari wedding held at Marina Bay Sands! Mummy likes to go there mah!
What do you want to be when you grow up?
P: A tai tai.
T: Hey! Me too!
See what else the Ugly Step Sisters and damsel in distress Cindy get up to in Cinderel-lah! Through Dec 11, 2:30pm, 8pm. Esplanade Theatre,
1 Esplanade Dr., 6828-8377. $29-99 from Sistic.
