How Do You Know

How do you know when a movie has stripped you of two precious hours of your life? When you find yourself fixated on Jack Nicholson’s armpit stains.Thirty-something Lisa (Reese Witherspoon) is on the verge of a pre-midlife crisis. Cut from the Team USA softball squad, she divides her time between jock boyfriend Matty (Owen Wilson) and businessman George (Paul Rudd), who serves as her confidante while dealing with a lawsuit. Adding to this uninspiring mix is Charles (Jack Nicholson), George’s business tycoon father. As Lisa tries to “find herself,” she shares her doubts and worries with both Matty and George, and seeks to answer the elusive (and in these hands, terminally bland) question: How do you know when you’re in love? Whenever the scene you’re in is in soft-focus, we say, which means most of the movie.It’s a frankly painful retelling of a high school will-they-or-won’t-they story, filled with hamfisted attempts to capture the flicker in the characters’ eyes as they teeter on the edge of love. Matty’s cluelessness when it comes to relationships is more cheesy than charming, while Witherspoon’s Lisa frustrates with her constant whining. The film even lacks the tried-and-true supporting roles we expect from a rom-com. Where’s the deadpan, sardonic best friend or the flamboyant colleague?Not all is lost, however. Scenes between Rudd and Nicholson are engaging, thanks to the former’s puppy dog appeal and the latter’s constant heaving as he juggles between being a protective father and corporate magnate. Still, a better question might simply be Why Bother?