We’re not the types to judge a show based solely on how popular its lead actor or actress is, but when Karl Urban (The Bourne Supremacy) is the biggest name in the credits, you know you’re in trouble.
Way before Columbus took a wrong turn and “discovered” America, a bunch of nasty Vikings nearly wiped out the Native Americans. After their first rampage, the Norse warriors leave behind one of their young, who grows up among the tribe into the strapping young man known as Ghost (Urban). When Ghost’s real family returns to kill off the rest of the Native Americans, it’s up to him to stop the Vikings.
We’ll start with the good because, if nothing else, we’re trying to be as optimistic as possible. There were a few moments of violence in Pathfinder that were quite a thrill to watch. With the world still on a gory high from Apocalypto and 300, the Vikings’ returning rampage was nasty, brutal and quite a cinematic sight.
That said, the rest of the film was an utter snooze-fest, thanks to the terrible acting of every single member of the cast. Urban is so horrendously stiff that he makes Keanu Reeves look like an Oscar-worthy actor. All the Native American actors appear to have graduated from William Shatner’s school of acting, because: They. All. Talk. Like. This. We’re guessing that this was probably an attempt to make them seem like wise people, but they just sounded plain ridiculous. Even the “terrifying” Vikings sounded more like the Swedish Chef from The Muppets than badass warriors.
Visually, Pathfinder’s nothing fantastic either. The worst moment has to be towards the end where the avalanche sequences literally looked like stock footage from the National Geographic Channel and completely clashed with the style of director Marcus Nispel (2003’s remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre).
Looking more like a poor man’s Conan the Barbarian than a grand historical epic, and armed with completely lackluster acting, there isn’t much that can redeem the tragedy that is Pathfinder.
If you dig Pathfinder, you…: Are having one of those “brain-dead” kinds of days. We can’t imagine any sane person spending money to catch this.