What made you decide to be a sex doctor?
I’m not a sex doctor. I am just interested in the topic of sexuality. I am a gynecologist working with women who have difficulty conceiving.
What ‘special’ training do you have to undergo to become one?
I do my own research, attend courses, and talk to psychologists, to parents.
How do you get your patients to relax when discussing something so private?
Singaporeans are still very shy. You have to probe and prompt them. The younger generation is more open though.
Do you think Singaporean couples are having enough sex?
My answer is no. It is a problem in any urbanized society. Both parties work, they are too tired when they get home. The only time they get is during the weekends. And if they have children, they take up all their time.
What are the main sexual hang-ups facing Singaporean couples today?
There are two groups. The first are couples trying to conceive. Sex is like a task to them, like two robots making love. The second group is of women nearing menopause. When the women keep saying “not tonight”, their husbands become frustrated. This is where all these China girls come in and marital life suffers.
Which of the sexes is more bashful about voicing their sexual preferences?
It’s different for both. Men want physical sex while women need emotional connection and communication. Men have only one button while women have many buttons, push the wrong one and it is a landmine. Women need the touching, kissing and hugging to enjoy sex.
Do aphrodisiacs and romantic mood lightings really make a difference?
It’s all about workings of the mind. The brain is the sexiest organ. Aphrodisiacs all work the senses. Which is why they use aromatherapy, visuals and music—it’s all about the mind.
What is the most rewarding part of your job?
When couple’s relationship improves and they have children; when you deliver their baby. They become friends. You are not dealing with old age or cancer, but with life.
Would you consider yourself as an expert at sex?
I don’t want to boast. I’m interested in the topic, I am serious about it. The physical side is only part of it. It is sexuality, not just sex.
How do men and women respond when you tell them what your job is?
This guy actually told me that ‘my playfield’ is everybody’s dream. To me it is just very practical. Some doctors examine your ears or nose. It’s just different holes.
