SuperTree by Indochine: In a word, “underwhelming”

“Underwhelming” is the polite way to describe the launch of SuperTree by IndoChine, the newest F&B joint to hit Gardens by the Bay. Honestly, the spot has got plenty working in its favor (chiefly, a stellar view of the Marina Bay skyline).
They just need a makeover. Multi-colored lights surround the tree, making it look tacky beyond belief and the décor is anything but subtle. The bathroom is the oddest of all (here’s a clue: a life-sized statue of a Roman soldier stares down at you as you pee).
Bites like crispy lychee with Kurobuta pork loin and terriene of chicken with walnuts and jamon iberico sound good on paper but do little to fill the belly when they’re served with cold and with gaps of at least fifteen minutes between each miniature, plastic dish-plated course. Frankly we were surprised we were fed at all. After waltzing in more than an hour late, the food still took forever to arrive.
The staff is well meaning but seems to have the memory of goldfish (one shouldn’t have to ask for a drink more than twice). We didn’t hang around for the real party, which we assume was meant to go into the wee hours of the night. But something tells us—from the cheesy theme park music and ladies with butterfly wings (who made an entrance just as we left)—we didn’t miss much.