The end is nigh! The haze is going to be back with a vengeance this year. And with other crises like the MERS coronavirus and dengue cropping up, our paranoia is in full throttle. Here are 19 deadly reasons you won’t live to see tomorrow.
1. Asphyxiating on the haze
Brace yourselves—the haze this year is forecasted to be worse than last year’s (the PSI hit an all-time record of 401 last June), due to our Indonesian neighbors persisting with their slash-and-burn practices. Plus, the haze will likely be further exacerbated by an El Nino weather pattern (that’ll probably mean no rain to help dissipate the smog). While no one has actually died as a direct result of the haze, it’ll inevitably give rise to all sorts of major respiratory problems. On the bright side, we expect face masks to be the new and affordable fashion trend this summer.
2. Burning to a crisp by fires
Fires have been making the headlines of late. In April, two fires broke out at the National University of Singapore, both within the engineering faculty. More tragically, a father and his son were burned to death last November when their house along Jalan Gaharu (which was being used as a makeshift temple) caught fire. And while we have a decent civil defence force that’s pretty adept at fighting fires, we unfortunately might also be in danger of…
3. Dehydration from water shortage
The fact that Singapore is known for its limited water supply (we still pipe millions of gallons of water from Malaysia) doesn’t help our doomsday predictions about fire and erratic weather patterns much. Also, the few natural resources we actually have can be quite filthy as well—in 2008, the NEA declared Pasir Ris Beach unsafe for swimming after the water was found to be contaminated with faecal bacteria. If a severe drought were to take place (along with a nasty fallout with Malaysia), we’d best hope that our reclaimed water strategies (think NEWater) can save us all.
4. Annihilation by floods
Global warming has thrown weather patterns all around the world into disarray—the Greenland ice sheet is melting at an unprecedented pace, and rising sea levels might just swallow Singapore whole. Plus, we were inundated by scary floods at the end of last year—we sure hope they aren’t a harbinger of things to come. Thankfully, though, The Straits Times has reported that work will soon be starting on the Stamford Diversion Canal, which will hopefully reduce the risk of floods along the Orchard shopping belt—the most important part of Singapore, d’oh.
5. Getting infected by dengue fever
All that water spells nothing but bad news for our dengue situation. There was a significant dengue outbreak last year, and according to the Ministry of Health, there were a total of seven deaths throughout the course of the year. The National Environment Agency has been really proactive in weeding out potential dengue hotspots (Channel News Asia reported that the NEA audited 7,700 construction sites from January to April last year, 80% more than last year), but that’s not the only transmissible disease that’s been plaguing us lately.
6. Contracting pneumonia from MERS
First, there was SARS in 2003, which claimed 33 deaths in Singapore and over 700 worldwide (as stated by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention). Now, there’s MERS, short for Middle East Respiratory Syndrome coronavirus, which doomsayers are branding to be even deadlier than SARS with its high fatality rate of around 30%. The global death toll from MERS has already passed the 200 mark and is set to rise even further, according to the Business Recorder. Our government has already implemented temperature checks at Changi Airport to help facilitate early detection of the virus among travelers—a really smart move, considering the fact that disease transmission in Singapore is all too easy due to overcrowding. In fact, we also run the risk of…
7. Getting squashed to death in MRT cabins
Singapore is a tiny country by most standards—we’re only 710 square kilometers in size, yet we’re home to more than 5.3 million people. And just about everyone’s been whinging about the fact that the government has carved out plans to increase our population by as much as 30%. If this place gets any more crowded, we just might literally suffocate, or get squeezed to death in uber-packed MRT cabins. And while we’re definitely nowhere as resentful as some more, ahem, outspoken social activists, we can’t help but think that all these will inevitably lead to higher costs of living. So we might just die from…
8. Poverty-induced starvation
Surprise, surprise—the Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU) ranked Singapore as the most expensive city to live in. Plus, the cost of running a car in Singapore is the highest in the world (no thanks to our exorbitant COE). Moreover, we’re actually the most expensive place in the world to buy clothes. All these, coupled with the fact that our minimum CPF sum (what’s needed for us to be entitled to monthly CPF payouts when we’re old and gray) is about to be raised to $155,000, might just leave us naked and destitute during our retirement years. And if that poverty doesn’t kill us, it’s definitely something to be depressed about.
9. Death by suicide
Speaking of depression, suicide rates rose by nearly 30% to hit a 20-year high in 2013, as was reported in The Straits Times. This weighs in to around 10.3 suicides per 100,000 people last year—a rather chilling number. We wonder if some of these deaths are due to…
10. (Over)working to the grave
Singaporeans are workaholics—there’s no doubt about it. We work so hard that we almost never see the light of day on weekdays—we only crawl out of our office cubicles half-dead when it’s way past dinnertime. And according to a study by Taiwan’s China Times newspaper, Singaporeans work the longest hours in the world, clocking an average of 2,402 hours a year. Plus, there’s also been talk about raising the retirement age to 68. Hence, we’re not surprised that people are killing themselves by…
11. Drowning in reservoirs
Unfortunately, our reservoirs are fast becoming favorite haunts for the suicidal. According to The Online Citizen, a total of eight dead bodies were found at Bedok Reservoir from June 2011 to September 2012, and corpses have been discovered in Kallang Reservoir and Pandan Reservoir as well, just to name a few. And then there’s also…
12. Jumping onto MRT tracks
Sadly, this also seems like a favored way to die in Singapore. There has been a spate of MRT-related deaths over the past decade, including two suicides at Bukit Batok MRT station in August 2004, and a man jumping onto the tracks at Bedok MRT station in May 2010 (as documented by transitioning.org). Thankfully, SMRT has since been revamping above-ground MRT stations and installing features like platform screen doors to improve safety, and this has helped in reducing the number of fatalities in recent years.
13. Getting killed in a car crash
Not all transport-related accidents in Singapore are confined to the MRT. While 2013 saw a 10.6% decrease in the number of fatal and injury accidents on our roads (6,426 cases in 2013, down from 7,188 cases in 2012, according to the Singapore Police Force), we still hear of horrific traffic accidents on a regular basis (memorable ones include the Ferrari crash at Rochor in 2012 and the two brothers who were killed by a cement truck last year). So drive carefully. Not only will you save lives, you’ll also avoid being…
14. Shamed to death by citizen journalism
This mode of journalism has been getting a lot of flak these days, and rightly so, we think. Recently, there was a petition to close STOMP down, with the petition’s founder Robin Li stating that “STOMP is becoming a place for people to shame their fellow citizens, cyber-bullying and the obvious case of invading one’s privacy.” And it’s quite true—just about anything gets reported on STOMP these days, no thanks to deep-seated kaypohness and holier-than-thou attitudes. It’s a gross invasion of privacy, and it has ruined the lives of many individuals, including a certain Mr. Casey (who admittedly deserves it). While you’ll probably not die a literal death, being a STOMP headliner spells disaster for your career and even social life.
15. Smothered by dangerous creatures
We’ve been experiencing an invasion of swallowtail moths lately. The Straits Times says that more than 800 sightings have been reported online so far. These large moths are roughly the size of a human hand, so forgive us for worrying about the possibility of being smothered to death by a bunch of them. And don’t forget the giant crocs! You’ll probably have read about Barney the crocodile in the papers—he was found dead at Kranji reservoir some time back in April. He was really massive, weighing in at 400kg, so he’s definitely…
16. Carrying around too much body weight
Obesity in Singapore is definitely a weighty issue—our obesity prevalence rate rose from 6.9% in 2004 to 10.8% in 2010, according to the Health Promotion Board (that means roughly one in ten Singaporeans is considered obese). And we’re not that surprised, really, considering the influx of new cafes all across the island—surely a diet of eggs Benedict and sugary lattes can’t be all that good for your health. Plus, the National Health Survey 2010 shows that 1.7 million Singaporeans with a BMI of 23 or greater are at risk of developing obesity-related ailments like diabetes and heart disease. But being the vain creatures that we are, we’re probably more concerned about how the extra weight makes us look, which brings us to death by…
17. Botched cosmetic surgeries
Many people choose to go under the knife (definitely nowhere as numerous as South Korea, though). But this can potentially give rise to hazardous complications—last month, an Indonesian man undergoing facelift surgery at Camden Medical Centre was declared brain dead. This comes after two people died as a result of liposuction procedures last year. Folks, didn’t our parents tell us that beauty lies within?
18. Sex-induced heart attacks
Besides plastic surgery, our abysmal self-esteem has also led to poorer sex, it seems. Hence the need for some medical help in the form of Viagra and such—according to Channel News Asia, the Health Sciences Authority has just seized its largest haul of illegal sexual enhancement drugs, which have an estimated street value of over $400,000 (and give rise to detrimental side effects, of course). Singaporeans obviously aren’t that great when it comes to having a romp. But we sure hope that bad sex isn’t responsible for…
19. Mysterious HDB murders
Getting senselessly murdered in HDB flats seems like a really common way to go these days—earlier this year, The New Paper reported that a 48-year-old man was charged with murdering his 50-year-old girlfriend in a HDB flat in Jurong in 2011. And just recently, the body of a 75-year-old woman with multiple stab wounds was found in an Ang Mo Kio flat, while the body of her 51-year-old daughter was discovered at the foot of the very same block. Now, there’s fodder for local horror movies.
Hot Haunts: Afterlife Edition
Where to see and be seen after you’ve been reduced to a translucent specter.
Bukit Brown Cemetery
This abandoned cemetery is also affectionately known as “Kopi Sua” or “Coffee Hill”. Adjacent to Lornie Road, it apparently houses an estimated 100,000 tombs. Word has it that there’s a Pontianak (female vampire) that already haunts the cemetery, so if you’re looking for a gal pal in the afterlife, this could be a good place to start.
Old Changi Hospital
This dilapidated hospital (originally a British military hospital) is said to have been used as a torture chamber during the Japanese Occupation. It’s entirely abandoned now, but it constantly catches the fancy of thrill-seeking youths staying at the chalets nearby, despite rumors that some who venture inside never come back out. Perfect for haunting if you like spooking the youth.
Pulau Tekong
Just about every male Singaporean has experienced ghost sightings on the island during his NS days. Many allege that the spirit of a dead recruit (who died during a route march) still haunts Charlie Company, while others claim that a phantom grandfather and his grandson visit the bunks at night. A must-visit if you have an undying thing for men in uniform.
