Disgruntled Artist #1: Hey dude, have you heard the latest news? The Land Transport Authority is looking for artists to contribute artworks for upcoming Circle Line stations like Marymount, Lorong Chuan and Bartley. This is could be my big break! I was rejected to exhibit at the North East Line (NEL) stations, and was flat out denied an interview by the Singapore Biennale. But I’m sure they’ll be interested this time!Disgruntled Artist #2: Man, you seem too optimistic. The Biennale rejected my proposal to make the Esplanade disappear just a couple of months ago, and opted for Lim Tzay Chuen’s invisible gas stunt instead! Geez, sometimes I wonder if these people truly know their “art.”DA#1: Oh no! They rejected your disappearing act? Man, that idea was dope! Those snobs! But, hey … invisible gas. That sounds like a good idea, too. My friends keep telling me I’m full of hot air anyway.DA#2: If I had my way, I’ll make the whole City Hall building disappear! After all, have you seen the artworks displayed there? Pah! I can do much better! Anyway dude, what do you have in mind for the Circle Line?DA#1: I wouldn’t mind trying that invisible gas installation after all. I mean, if I could come up with a good reason—like if you can’t see it, you just don’t understand the meaning behind the piece—I could get away with it as well!DA#2: Well, yeah. That’s the whole rationale that Lim was hoping to get away with all the time, anyway. And guess what, he didn’t! So I guess we have to come up with a thoroughly new idea or concept—something that will totally blow the art world away! How about a giant blow-up doll of Lee Hsien Loong that…DA#1: No, wait. I have a brilliant idea! Why don’t I do a big piece on how to stage a protest in Singapore? Yeah—one giant installation with a step-by-step guide on how to start a peaceful protest. Artistic and practical!DA#2: Are you nuts? Didn’t you read about those two kids that were questioned for even possessing material that could be considered violent?DA#1: Hey, there’s no such thing as bad publicity! I need to break out anyway, and the only way to get attention around here these days is to do something “shocking.”DA#2: Perhaps you are right. Our art scene here could take a tip or two from British art and be more provocative. How about a Damien Hirst-inspired series of work called “Clinic Politik,” on our sanitized political scene, featuring empty pages from local newspapers made from toilet paper? Or a Tracey Emin-inspired one, where I sketch out images of all the cute local politicians that I have fantasies of?DA#1: Yeah, that sounds… wait, what?!Security Guard: Hey. Hey, you two! Move it along—you’re holding up the rest of the commuters! What’s the matter with you? This is a train station, not some art museum where you can just hang around!DA#2: Hmpf! Everyone’s a bloody critic…
