The word has gone out—smile! The reason? Some 16,000 delegates are coming to town for the International Monetary Fund and World Bank meetings in September, and Singapore wants us to welcome them with 4 million smiles, showing what a happy (not to mention Orwellian) place this is.OK, sure, we’re glad the fat-cat bankers and money guys are coming. But if the organizers really want people to be smiley come September, we can suggest a few things that would definitely put us in the party mood:1. Announce another progress package next year. No next month.2. Extend the Clarke Quay canopies and air-condition the entire island.3. Introduce taxis that actually pick passengers up during peak hours.4. Put more Valium in the water.5. A World Cup screening at the Padang.6. A machine that dispenses winning 4D numbers.7. Happy hour every hour.8. The Great Singapore Sale Sale Sale Sale Sale.9. A public holiday every time the PAP wins an election.10. Taufik for president.
