So it’s that time of the year again to reflect on the year’s past happenings, count our blessings and, let’s get real here, pray for all the things that we want and don’t have. And, because we love this idiosyncratic and charming city of ours, we really do, we’ve put together our Christmas wish list for what we want for Singapore in the next year that will improve our quality of life—some more life-altering and serious than others. Wish us luck.
This Christmas, we wish for…
1. More public holidays.
2. A less stressful life.
3. A four-day work week.
4. Speeding bullet trains for MRTs. That way we can all get to work on time (if at all).
5. More Singaporeans who know how to play more and work less.
6. Things to happen spontaneously for a change, rather than through a committee, policy or board.
7. Our sweaty, hot little island to be moved several degrees north of the equator, so that we can finally have seasons (and more holidays!).
8. If that’s not possible, move us out further into the open sea so we can have clearer waters and real beaches.
9. More budget airlines so we can go on more holidays.
10. Satellite towns on surrounding islands so there are more places to go to during weekends (and have a holiday!).
11. More sex between couples so we can move up in the world’s sex ranking and be Number One in something that really matters (as opposed to SMS-ing).
12. Another Haji Lane—that’s the closest we’ll ever get to having a cool and funky neighborhood.
13. More smoking areas in alfresco restaurants, since we’ve been inhaling so much of the haze anyway.
14. More theater people in politics—they might as well put all that talking to good use.
15. More appreciation for our local sound artists, since they make cooler white noise than our local opposition parties.
16. More provocative and sexier TV Shows like nip/tuck.
17. An alternative art space dedicated solely to edgy contemporary artworks after the success of the Singapore Biennale.
18. More educated punters who actually care and know about the different genres of music, instead of rushing to see the next big international guest DJ.
19. Another season of Singapore Idol. It’s beyond a doubt the easiest thing in our culture to make fun of, and it makes bus rides that much more fun.
20. Borat to be screened completely uncut.
21. Restaurants that can come up with a new signature dessert that’s not just another warm valhrona chocolate cake.
22. Service staff who would actually benefit from service charges.
23. GST to stop going up.
24. Less pesky shoppers and roadshows at Orchard Road during the weekend.
25. Less pesky flyer distributors at every level of Sim Lim Square or Peranakan Place during the weekend.
26. More taxi drivers who actually know where the Expo and ECP are.
27. More cars in the opposite lanes that will flash their headlights to warn us of traffic police looming ahead like they do on Malaysian highways.
28. Seat belt laws that would actually make more sense. Why don’t lorry passengers have to wear them too?
29. No capital punishment.
30. Peace on Earth and goodwill to all mankind. Failing that, how about the latest Porsche?