The Disgruntled Office

Dear LinkedIn,We the United Coalition of Petty-Minded, Gossip-Mongering Workers of Singapore wish to register our displeasure at your recent study which claims to have found that Singaporeans are among the world’s worst office gripers.For one thing, telling us we came second is adding insult to injury! Tell us how to come first and we promise to do as we’re told. You might have to show us several times, and we might be on MC when you plan to show us, but yeah, so long as we’re not out to lunch, or having a cigarette break, or on our phones, or popping across to the bank, or, you know, tying our shoelaces, having a nap, IM’ing a friend, telling our mom what we want for dinner, reheating our breakfast, stuck in traffic, fiddling with the window blinds, downloading that vid of the burping hippo, struggling to find a cab, or planning our next holiday, we’re happy to listen. Afternoons are best. Just not on a Wed, Thu or Fri, alright?We’d also like to take issue with some of the specific findings; although we’ve not really been able to agree among ourselves which ones, and the mass email we sent out to invite responses seems to have pissed off a few of our members.Anyway, some of us are unhappy that “constant complaining” was listed as something other people might get mad about. Pray tell: If we can’t whinge, how else are we supposed to deal with the daily grind? And if our colleagues don’t like it, then couldn’t they at least have the decency to stop constantly complaining about it?And how about the 57% of Singaporean women you claim are bothered by “clothing that’s too revealing for the workplace”? Our male members feel that wearing a singlet to the office should be safeguarded as a basic human right; why should they be made to suffer just because their co-workers don’t like watching sweat drip down onto the communal lunchtable?We are in agreement with you about one thing, however, and that’s the importance of taking ownership for your actions. That’s why we’ve each printed 1,500 copies of this letter to distribute to friends and colleagues and rally them to the cause. What’s that you say? The printer’s run out paper? Not our problem, pal. We just did the printing. You go refill it if you need it.Best,UCPMGMWOS (now disbanded)