Durian Revolution

The Durian Revolution was an unpopular uprising originating in the South-east Asian city-state of Singapore in the early months of 2011. So named because of the prickly personalities involved and a result which many thought stank.Origins Misunderstanding contemporaneous events in the Arab world, more than a dozen members of a leading opposition party decided to resign only weeks before a general election. Styled after the similarly fragrant Cedar Revolution in Lebanon and the short-lived Jasmine Revolution in China, this sickly-sweet development was widely seen as a gift to the incumbent party (though rumor has it they requested that it first be shrink-wrapped).Causes Wild speculation suggests the seeds of the revolution were sown (then cooked and eaten) on the streets of Geylang, traditionally a durian stronghold. Unlike in other countries, where red-light rumors would spell the end of any contender’s political career, certain politicians frequented the area in broad daylight, and were overheard discussing their love of the hereditary monarch, Mao Shan Wang, or the Durian King.Collapse Thanks to the long-standing “No Durian” rule on public transportation, the politicians in question were restricted to spreading their message (principally one of internal disharmony) to a handful of constituencies; and were unable to sustain a prolonged campaign. A planned 10,000 Man March was called off, after it was discovered that most of the attendees thought they’d signed up for a 10k run. “It smells fishy to me,” said one participant. “It’s more like cheese,” said another. Both agreed it was all pretty rotten.