SUBMISSION LETTER REGARDING SINGAPORE GRAND PRIX RENEWALAugust 2012To: The Eternal and undying Leader, mr. Bernard Ecclestone, Esq.From: [redacted]Dear Bernie (can we call you Bernie? Are we even allowed to look you in the eye yet?),First of all, have we told you how much we love those funny little spectacles of yours? And that hair! So regal. So presidential. Have you thought about getting it sponsored?Now down to business. Pleeeeease can we keep our F1? Pretty please? These days we can’t even procure Brompton bicycles without a fuss, so please don’t take our race-cars away from us.You’re going to hear that there’s been some debate here as to whether the race has been good for the city, that we’re tired of the disruption and shameless commercialism. Ignore such nonsense!A negotiation process that lacks transparency and proper public scrutiny? we totally dig that. A competition in which most of the competitors can’t truly compete? we say bring that ish on.It’s true that some businesses do suffer but the drivers go away richer, right? And anything we can do to fill the coffers of our fellow mini-nation monaco must be a good thing. Brotherly, low tax love and all that.As for the accusation that selling out to corporate sponsors isn’t something we should approve of? Erm, hello? Have you seen marina Bay Sands? That (giant, gaudy, tri-towered) ship has already sailed.What though, we hear your subordinates ask on your behalf, do we want from you in return? not much is the reply.Please don’t mess up the Paddock as we’ve been renting it out for food fairs; and the fastest way to force a revolution here would be to deny the people their right to buy fancy French mustard. Oh and can you ensure Schumi keeps racing? It sets a good example to have someone past retirement age engaged at the highest level.Lastly, we’d ask—nay, beg—you to play along with the charade to the very last minute. Tell the public we struck a tough bargain; it’d ruin our reputation among our hard- haggling fellow Asian nations to hear anything less.Anyway, see ya in a couple of weeks. we know you’ll be busy, but maybe you could wave at us from across the track?Much love,[redacted]P.S. Remind us how many nights you need the Istana for?
