If your heart’s not in it

A recent rally against the infamous Samantha’s on air rant against uncultured heartlanders lowering the tone in Holland V failed to attract more than 100-odd participants. (So damn disorganized those heartlanders!) This despite almost 3,000 people ticking the “I will be attending box” on Facebook. Of course, it is possible attendee numbers were underestimated, since almost everybody in the area was wearing some combination of singlet and shorts; but the point remains: If you’re going to organize an event online and have it be a success, then more careful planning is required.Online brand intel provider Brandtology say that such events need to be relevant, simple and well organized if they are to succeed. They also say the degree of controversy can have an impact. (In this case, perhaps the event lost out to more pressing Holland V controversies; such as how many glasses of wine is too many glasses of wine, or whether it’s possible to remotely lock your Lamborghini without looking utterly smug).So what lessons can we learn from this shuffling, slipper-wearing shambles? How can you be sure people will actually show up to your Facebook shindig when they say they will?1. If you’re going to celebrate a casual lifestyle, don’t require people to travel far from home. That’s just asking for trouble.2. To avoid humiliation, don’t specify the number of people you want to turn up. “1,000 people to Holland V” was always going to be ambitious. Hell, the MRT station there still isn’t open yet. Go for something more modest, a more boutique-y affair. Just remember, two people shouting is a movement, one person shouting will be moved on.3. Raise the stakes. A walkabout is fun, but if someone’s done something to annoy you, you need to be more honest about what you have in mind. Calling it a witchhunt is just smart branding. To avoid drawing attention, make it sound like a hipsters’ party: witchhunt x Out For Blood 2011.4. Offer tangible rewards. And no, a sense of satisfaction doesn’t count. Facebook rules preclude offering money or alchohol as an incentive. But there’s nothing stopping you giving away free backrubs.5. Regardless of what your event concerns, post a photo of a baby as the profile pic. You’ll get 6,000 likes inside 5 minutes. Clue: These are the people you do not want at your event. Now you can go out and find the ones you do.