Singapore’s Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew recently commented that the country doesn’t possess a culture of its own. We, however, respectfully disagree, and feel that we have a very telling way of life that’s completely idiosyncratic to our sunny little island. We also believe that, like any other guest, you, our esteemed, international banking visitors, would want to immerse yourself in our culture, so here we have a little quiz for you to see just how “Singaporean” you are.What do you do if you see someone littering in public?A) Confront them about it. People should know better than to commit such a foul offense.B) Pick up the offending litter yourself. It doesn’t matter who does it, so long as we keep Singapore clean and green.C) Write letters to the local newspapers complaining that there aren’t enough rubbish bins.What course of action do you take when a mobile phone starts ringing in the cinema?A) Shush the offender into silence.B) Make subtle tsk-ing noises to express your annoyance without actually being confrontational.C) Stand up and swear at the offender in Hokkien, then “settle” it outside later.There’s a crowd gathering at the entrance to the MRT. To get through, you:A) Gently nudge your way through.B) Mutter an apology to get a path.C) Push vigorously, while smacking people with your bag, and yelling, “Oi! Siam lah!” (“Oi! Move away!”)When you go to a hawker center, how do you pick which stall to eat at?A) Look for one that sells food that you want to eat.B) Look for the one with the shortest queue.C) Look for the one with the longest queue.Someone decides to take you out shopping. You decide to check out:A) Orchard Road on a Saturday, because that’s where everyone goes anyway.B) Little India, because that’s where all the cheap toiletries and groceries are.C) JB, because that’s where toiletries and groceries are twice as cheap.You see Taufik on a poster at a 7-Eleven. You:A) Go weak at the knees. Taufik is soooo gorgeous.B) Ask “Who’s Taufik?”C) Immediately feel irritated. Does his face have to be everywhere?The true Singaporean answer to all of the above is “C,” which confirms that, yes, Singapore does indeed have a unique culture of its own. The real question is whether anyone would want to be part of it.
