Mr. KIA Dec 24

Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
I need a bodyguard. I live alone, wear lots of jewelry and sexy clothing, and get home from work in the wee hours of the morning. I’ve heard of women getting robbed, raped and sometimes killed in public and I don’t want to be a part of the statistics. Can you be my bodyguard?—Damsel In This Dress
Dear DITD,
No, I can’t. I know it all, I don’t do it all. If you MUST wear lots of jewelry and sexy clothing (are mini skirts back in trend?), then call Kokusai Security (#05-46 Peninsula Plaza, 111 North Bridge Rd., 1800-339-9001), whose officers are trained to deal with threats such as house-breaking and theft, sabotage and mischief. If you know of someone who wants to hurt you, Kokusai also extends personal investigation services and a further arrangement should you need to be escorted with a per-day charge (which I presume you’re familiar with). Aetos Security Management (1 Mount Pleasant Rd., Blk 10 Old Police Academy, 6478-5155) is an even more recognized security body in Singapore, which provides personal security for clients who are at risk due to their wealth or status, or due to a direct threat. They have both armed and unarmed protection and are as well-trained as the police force. Word of advice—it may be more economical to wear less jewelry and cover up once in awhile—just saying.