Mr. KIA Jan 7

My pet Dachshund was a messy eater for the longest time. I spent a good part of 2010 scooping dog biscuits and gravy off the floor with my bare hands, scrubbing the gravy off his ass (you’ll find out how that happened later) and checking his dish for traces of dog poo (there you go). I tried to train him but how do you explain to a dog that a square meter of parquet flooring costs a bomb to clean and polish and that a food dish does not also double up as a toilet? Fortunately, he figured it out on his own. In fact, he’s been so good that my friends have been complimenting him on his good behavior since the Christmas gift exchange at my place. I’d like to take him out for a nice meal to reward him. Where should we go?—GOOD DOG
Dear GD,
Kudos on not being a part of your dog’s development; or maybe he is smarter than you think and was just testing your ability (or lack thereof) as a pet owner. Just in case he does something else to make you look like a bigger fool, stick the number for training school Puppy Love (PAW Veterinary Center, Blk 112 Bukit Purmei Rd., 9689-0427, on your fridge. They’ll do a face-to-face consultation (probably to see who’s the one with the problem—you or your dog) and recommend stuff like behavioral classes ($150 per session) for both of you attend. About that hot date you’ve got planned; well, just about any pet café will do. If you want to try a new place, actress and entrepreneur Irene Ang’s Qafe (21 Tanjong Pagar Rd., 9487-1287) opened a couple of months ago and pets are welcomed. I just hope for your sake that he (or is it a she? You didn’t specify) doesn’t work up a temper while you’re there or the whole of Mediacorp’s going to hear about it.