Mr KIA Jul 22

Dear Mr. KIA,
I am 28 years old and have early onset balding. The only hair I have left is two tiny tufts behind my ears. I look about 40 and with this shiny head there is no way I am ever getting laid. What should I do? —Hairless Harry

Dear HH,
Oh, more men suffer from this predicament than you know. Thankfully, you still have two very agreeable options: 1) wigs, 2) hair implants. If you’re a scrooge, wigs are the way to go. Fortune Wigs (#01-02,733 Bukit Timah Rd., 6465-5333) imports those from the US and Japan, and carries both synthetic and real-hair wigs. Gigi Wig Boutique (539 Butik Batok St. 52, 9439-9719) also has a fine selection of more affordable, synthetic wigs. For permanent hair implants, I recommend you check out the services of Eileen Tan Skin, Laser and Hair Transplant Clinic (#12-01 Medical Centre, 3 Mount Elizabeth, 6733-8898). Cost of the implants will depend on how many sessions you need.
Dear Mr. KIA,
My mom has set me up with the ugliest of women. She’s the daughter of a close family friend, but I really can’t stand her, because her personality is just as crappy as her face. But I can’t say no because of my mom. Is there somewhere I can take her to that requires minimal contact/speaking/looking at her? —Desperate Bachelor

Dear DB,
This sounds exactly like something my mother would do. But never fear, not all dates have to be romantic dinners over candlelight. Just take her to a movie. The more engrossing the movie the better, so it’s easier to forget that you’re sitting right next to her. I recommend Golden Village VivoCity (2-3/F VivoCity, HarbourFront Precinct, 6311-9162), the largest, most spacious cinema in the city. So the likelihood of squishing up against her is minimized. Cathay Cineplex Cineleisure Orchard (4-6,8/F Grange Rd., 6235-1155) isn’t bad either, because it has the most leg space.