This year, I, promise to:
- Quit complaining about taxis and use the bus more often.
- Refrain from ever using the word “artiste”.
- Look up from my phone when talking to staff at 7-Eleven.
- Call bullshit on mixologists who make me come up with my own drink.
- Quit complaining about buses and get on a bicycle more often.
- Show half as much love for old people as I do for dismembered kittens.
- Argue about something other than food. Drinks, maybe.
- Hold politicians to their word.
- Have sex more often. With whoever I choose, and without a care for procreation.
- Visit another country; so that I never ever complain about any form of public transport ever again.
Signed by: The Little Red Dot
Witnessed by: Anyone who’s ever spent time here.