Radio Gaga

Radio DJs are popping up on the airwaves faster than you can say The Flying Dutchman’s real name these days. Just recently, stage director and actress Beatrice Chia, jazz crooner Claressa Monteiro, has-been TV actress Wong Li Lin and Parking Lot Pimp vocalist Vanessa Fernandez, were named the new “divas” for radio channels, where they will headline several new programs.But rather than just straightforward programming, we figure that the best thing for radio stations to do right in the near future is to seek out certain personality types as their next wave of disc jockeys, and to make this lot a really interesting bunch. Imagine what it would be like if we actually have:• Columnist Colin Goh headlining Talking Cock The Radio Show at 6am, where Goh will rant endlessly about anything and everything to wake everyone up.• Sex writer Gerrie Lim headlining a late night talk show where he will conduct “live” interviews with night prowlers from Orchard Towers and Geylang.• Phua Chu Kang headlining a show on Chinese pop music, with special guest hosts Sebastian Sim and Maia Lee.• Ivan Heng and Kumar hosting a show for singles called Fabulous and Over the Hill where they interview entertainers from the ’80s such as Tania, Anita Sarawak and Victor Khoo and trade health and beauty tips.• Taufik Batisah and Hady Mirza co-hosting a show called 15 Minutes, about how practically anyone can be a celebrity and how to stay as relevant as possible as your popularity wanes. Sponsored by 7-Eleven, of course.• Christopher Lee hosting a show called Jive Drive!, where he’ll elaborate on the need for road safety, mostly citing personal examples.• The T’ang Quartet will perform every night, live on air, between the hours of 11pm to 3am, on a show called Insomniacs Anonymous, where they’ll help anyone who’s having problems sleeping to doze off with the greatest of ease with the greatest hits.• Cleopatra Wong hosting a show called Kick Ass on how to stay hip, no matter how old you are, providing personal tips on subjects like looking young and being relevant.