For the Record

We’ve made the world’s longest popiah, we’ve folded the most origami cranes in just five minutes, and we’ve scuba dived the longest by staying underwater for 220 hours. Just last week, Singapore set another World Record when 16-year-old Raffles Institution student Ang Chuang Yang managed to write the SMS message “The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world” in just 41.52 seconds, beating the previous record set by American Ben Cook.While we may not exactly boast the biggest population in the world, it’s obvious that most of the world records that we’ve managed to set so far are, well, pretty lame. In fact, we sincerely believe that Singapore has enough resources, talent and an unrelenting sense of kiasu-ism to actually come up with more credible and less dubious world records. We’re thinking more along the lines of:• World’s longest queue at a hawker stall. After all, we’re home to some of the best hawker food in the world, and it’s not like we don’t queue long enough already.• The most number of people to squeeze into one shopping centre. For an unfair advantage, we can try for this record during the Great Singapore Sale.• World’s longest hours worked in a 24 hour period. Do you even realize the extremely long hours that the folks at Shenton Way are putting in each day?• And while we’re in Shenton way, we can go for the record of the longest wait for a taxi, without calling for a cab, during the evening rush hour period.• World’s highest use of antibiotics. Drug companies take note: With such a nation of hypochondriacs popping pills and taking MC at the first sign of a sneeze, this is the place to boost shareholder earnings.• The world’s jerkiest bus rides. It’s amazing we don’t have an entire country of people with motion sickness already.• The world’s jerkiest MRT rides. Oh yeah, that too.• Greatest number of hubs in one country, but not necessarily specialized in any one of them—arts hub, info hub, nightlife hub, design hub, fashion hub…Need we say more?• Longest string of swear words utilizing the most number of languages. Hey, at least it’s one that embraces the harmonious multi-racial aspect of Singapore.