Spaced Out

The Singapore Land Authority (SLA) recently announced that some vacant state land will be up for tender, and zoned for “agri-tainment” (that is, a mix of agriculture, recreation and entertainment). According to SLA, agri-tainment can be defined as “nature education, outdoor and/or recreational sports, rustic guest accommodation, spa facilities, arts and handicraft, art studios…fruit orchards, vegetable and food crops, and toad and frog culture.”Good news, right? Except that we do think it’s glaring that the piece of land in question is the less than commercially hot, out in the sticks, Lim Chu Kang. So, being know-it-alls that we are, we decided to lend a hand to the SLA and give them a few helpful suggestions on some other vacant spots that could be put to good use.Bishan Park: Build a new live entertainment complex with two domed roofs called The ‘Tan (short for rambutan), to act as the stage for other lame retro musicals. After all, one has to have balls to bring such rubbish to town and call it art.The plot of land opposite the Youth Park: To be turned into the We-Wish-We-Were-Youth Park, for anyone born post-1965, but still too old to be “down” with hip hop.Marina South: Convert it into a giant disco space, since big clubs seem to be so in now. The “unhappening” can go fly a kite. Elsewhere.The plot of land at Merchant Loop: To be turned into an affordable music recording studio. With all those drunks coming by after club and pub hopping, one of them is bound to have some talent.The field at Speakers’ Corner: To be turned into a library. Not like anybody’s making any noise there now anyway.The plot of land at Red Hill where getai shows are normally held: To be turned into a rock concert space, featuring P65 MPs and Hady Mirza performing.The field at Rochor Road: Set up regular archery demonstrations. With the DHL Hot-Air Balloon near-by, this is a performance arts piece just waiting to happen. We’d like to call it “Asking for Trouble.”