I wanted to be just like my older sister when I was younger. She was a ballerina so I also went to ballet class. On the first day the ballet teacher called me a clumsy hippo and told me that I didn’t belong. I was really crushed.
My real self-discovery started happening at 14. I just realized I couldn’t be my sister. If I’m not her, who am I?
I’ve definitely contemplated suicide. I had a really bad period when I was 16/17. I was studying fine arts back then and I was suffering from depression. It’s a great medium for expression but it definitely caused my mind to go in a bit of a downward spiral whereas for music, it liberated me.
Music has saved my life in many ways. I felt it was the medium for me to get my mind back to a sane place. From then on, it was just something that I naturally gravitated to.
I’ve never had a day job but I’m paying my bills and taxes so I’m happy. I think that’s an achievement in itself, the day I was able to sustain myself financially with my own music, not playing covers.
I’ve really enjoyed being nomadic over the past three years. I essentially packed my bags and left to pursue my music in the United States. I didn’t know anybody there. I was in Los Angeles for two and a half years and New York for the last six months.
My life works in seasons. When I was in New York, I was writing my book, Between The Devil and The Deep Blue Sea. So I would babysit dogs while people were away on vacation. It was really fun because I got to do what I wanted to do and play with a bunch of puppies.
Everyone told me, ‘This is going to be it,’ when I was in LA. And when it wasn’t, it was a huge disappointment. People judge you by how you look, the car you drive, by what you do. I was a little sucked into it all because you think that’s how the biz works.
You almost have to be shameless. It’s very humbling because you really have to put yourself out there. You can’t be apologetic for what you want to do, which is challenging because in Asia, humility is so important. Over there, you need to pull off this tightrope act of humility and confidence.
I recently played at the College Music Festival in New York. It’s really warm and cosy, in a sense where you can really hop from venue to venue and people who just want to stumble onto new music, they exist.
Anywhere you go, if you play good music and you’re interesting to watch and you can captivate people, people will stick around. In Singapore, they are not going to yell or give you an overwhelming response even if they thought you were amazing. It works in your advantage, though, because even if you tanked on stage, they’re still going to clap.
You better write songs every day if you’re a songsmith. It’s so important to wake up and do that. I do believe that craft needs to be practiced. I’m not the kind of musician that just goes, “It’s all feelings man.” I’m probably 95% hard work and 5% luck.
The process of how I get to the song is important. If it’s an authentic experience to me, I believe it will be authentic to someone else. If I am as honest as possible with what I want to write, as genuine with my intentions, it will work out fine.
I’m speaking with The Artists Village and hopefully they’ll let me have a slot as their Artist-In-Residence in Pulau Ubin. I want to live there for three months and write a record on 4-track with a guitar orchestra because that’s never been done before.
I do miss home and I feel like Singapore has so much to offer. I am almost a little embarrassed that I never explored Singapore enough.
I’m really excited about playing on the Bandwagon bus [at Urbanscapes in Malaysia]. It’s about time someone in Singapore does something as fun as this.
I am not afraid to admit that I’m a total girl. I love a good cheesy rom com. One of the cheesiest ones that no one really knows is Serendipity but I hate The Notebook. That’s the kind of romance a guy writes for a girl.
I’m an introvert. If I could, I’d just sit at home and watch Netflix all day, hang out with one other person and that’s it. But that’s the thing, I signed up for this so I don’t get to complain. I have to do it.
