Konichiwa! Hello Kitty here!!
I just turned 40 and I wanted to take this opportunity to thank Singapore for all your love, support and scary obsession over the years. I would say so in person, but unfortunately I don’t have a mouth, so I have to write this all down.
Why do I have reason to be thankful? Well, I was at the launch of my latest collection at McDonald’s last week and you know what? Not one person punched another in the face. Not one! That`s progress people! Fourteen years ago you all fought viciously to get your paws on me and my friends. As recently as last year there were queues and squabbles for the Fairy Tale set (#unhappyeverafter). But this time, nanimo! I mean, maybe I`m just finally losing my looks, but you know what I think it really is? I think that all the years of being mollycoddled by your government mean you’re all just as soppy and kawaii as me now!
I do have one thing I`d like to get off my chest though, and that’s that I had nothing to do with the new Avril Lavigne video. Have you seen it? People are calling her racist for the creepy use of look alike back ing dancers and Japanese stereot ypes, but I`m calling her out for something else. She named a song after me and I`m not even featured in it?! That`s not racist, that`s ageist! Here`s a 29-year-old woman singing about playing Spin the Bottle, and she can’t even make room for some older cats like me in her video?! Pfff. At least you won`t catch me dressed up in pink and pretending to be half my age. Though if you’re interested, I do k now how to get some great discounts on pink hair bands just message me on LINE. I have my own stickers on there now and ever ything. No queues, I promise!
XO
