Two weeks ago, The Straits Times reported that a 23 year-old charity worker lost “a yellow shirt-clad white rabbit soft toy” of great sentimental value at Outram Park station and has been desperately trying to locate it ever since. There is a $500 reward for anyone who finds it, and wanted ads have gone up on all social media channels. But so far, no Radder.
Mindful of the case’s possible repercussions on national security, the Ministry of Matters of Utmost National Importance has directed all law enforcement agencies to track down the adorable stuffed toy.
One police officer, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, “If there’s anything I’ve learned from the Woodlands bust, it’s that there are a lot of depraved sickos in this world, smoking cannabis and sitting around half-clothed on their sofas eating Ben & Jerry’s straight from the tub.” Visibly shaken from his recent encounter, he went on to say, “God knows what could happen if someone like that finds Radder before we do.”
But in a late twist, rumors have been circulating online that Radder’s disappearance may in fact actually be linked to the Woodlands raid. “As we investigate the disappearance,” explained Commissioner of Possibly Fluffy Threats, “we’re realizing there’s a lot we didn’t know about Radder.” Citizens with any knowledge of the bunny’s whereabouts should contact the police immediately. Do not approach the suspect, who might be dangerous if cornered.
