New iPhones? Yep. A new Apple TV? Maybe. Headphone jacks? You’re having a laugh

Blow up a hype balloon and peer into the future via entrails you’ve strung about, because it’s Apple event time. On Sep 12, Apple will reveal all the shiny new devices you'll immediately want to own.

If you’re in the US and gave Apple a magic eyebrow wiggle, you’ll be seated at "their place" (Apple Park’s Steve Jobs Theater). For everyone else, there’s the live stream, which will start at 1am the following day in Singapore (and likely require you use Apple kit or Edge to watch).

Until then, we've put on our best guessing trousers to help pen our own Apple event predictions.

iPhone Pro

iPhone 8? iPhone Pro? Whatever Apple’s next iPhone’s called, you know it’s going to be a bit special. The rumour mill’s been all over it like an iRash, and so we're well prepared for a wallet-thumping device that’s mostly screen, has an amazing camera, and *gasp* lacks a Home button (because Apple can't stop itself from removing things from iPhones).

iPhone 7s and 7s Plus

Apple usually tick-tocks iPhone releases, with its ‘S’ lines every other year. The iPhone 8/Pro throws a spanner in the works, but it’s unthinkable Apple would leave every other iPhone to lag behind its rivals. So expect some modest updates, probably an ‘S’ badge, and for existing 7 models to bump the 6S (and, bar on the SE, headphone jacks) from the line-up.

No new iPhone SE, iPads or Macs

Apple’s mini iPhone got spec-bumped earlier this year, and the new iPad Pro launched at WWDC. New and upgraded Macs have been arriving like clockwork too. It’s unlikely we’ll see much of these products at what’s traditionally an iPhone event, then, unless Apple fancies showing off the iMac Pro again.

iOS 11’s release date

Given that the iOS 11 in public beta, there aren’t many surprises lurking. Perhaps the new iPhone will get new gestural smarts, but that’s about it. What we don’t yet know is the release date. Tim Cook might do a dramatic pause and then say “today”; if not, expect it to power up your iPad with some great features by the end of Sep.

Apple TV 4K

A new 4K Apple TV seems likely, although we’re hoping for a bit more. And even if there’s the spangly tvOS magic we don’t yet know about (multiple user profiles, please), Apple could blaze through everything to do with Apple TV in a matter of minutes. It depends whether Apple wants to focus purely on the iPhone, really. Well, and whether a new Apple TV’s actually ready.

Apple Watch Series 3

Apple Watch is in much the same space as the Apple TV. We know a new one is on its way; it’s just a question of when. But given that—GPS rumours aside—Apple’s wearable remains more like an iPhone accessory than a standalone unit, the Series 3’s introduction at an event with a shiny new iPhone makes a lot of sense.

People freaking out about Apple prices

Rumor has it the flagship iPhone’s going to be properly expensive, starting at US$999 (about S$1,300). Other iPhones won’t be cheap either. Yet this will come as a huge shock to some people who’ll argue the sky is falling, and that Apple is doomed (for the billionth time).

So here’s one prediction we’ll make that will definitely come to pass: that new iPhone’s going to sell like hot cakes, even if it costs so much.

This story originally appeared on Stuff Singapore, bringing you what's next in the world of tech and gadgets, with a twist.