Divide and Conquer

What can we buy with $2 million?• One million plates of chicken rice to feed a whole province in Kenya.• Two million cheap paintbrushes for our starving local artists.• Ten thousand tickets to see Sir Ian McKellan on stage.• One thousand glistening gold taps to beautify our public toilets.• One million packs of peanuts to feed the monkeys.• Five George W. Bushes to rule the world.• One hundred thousand Prada handphones to keep the luxury fashion industry alive.• A durian orchard in northern Malaysia.• A decade’s worth of water from JB.• Ten commissioned Merlions from contemporary Chinese artists to draw in more tourists.• One hundred spanking new concert stages for our local rockers to jam in.• One million $2 punch hole parking coupons so that we’ll never get caught short again.• Four hundred thousand fake DVDs so that we can break the rules a little and feel naughty.• Fifty superstar DJs to brighten up our nights.• Six thousand round trip flights to Bali.• Five hundred goalkeepers to bribe so that we can finally get into the World Cup.• Fifty new TV stations so that we can stop watching the same crap on TV.• One hundred thousand fabulous hairdressers so that David Gan can stop having an ego the size of the Grand Canyon.• Two million opposition members who are good for nothing.Note: The numbers indicated above are estimates.