Free Will Astrology, Week of April 8, 2011

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19): When he was three years old, actor Charlie Sheen got a hernia from yelling too much and too loud. I definitely don’t encourage you to be like that. However, I do think it’s an excellent time to tune in to the extravagant emotions that first made an appearance when you were very young and that have continued to be a source of light and heat for you ever since. Maybe righteous anger is one of those vitalizing emotions, but there must be others as well—crazy longing, ferocious joy, insatiable curiosity, primal laughter. Get in touch with them.
TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20): The hydrochloric acid in our digestive system is so corrosive it can dissolve a nail. In other words, you contain within you the power to dematerialize solid metal. Why is it so hard, then, for you to conceive of the possibility that you can vaporize a painful memory or bad habit or fearful fantasy? I say you can do just that—especially at this moment, when your capacity for creative destruction is at a peak.
GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20): Now and then I include comments in these horoscopes that might be construed as political in nature. The twists and turns of political and social issues will be making an increasingly strong impact on your personal destiny in the months ahead. Now let me ask you: Is it possible that your compulsive discontent about certain political issues is inhibiting your capacity for personal happiness?
CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22): If you were a poker player, the odds would now be far better than usual that you’d be voted one of the “50 Sexiest Poker Players in the World.” And even if you were just a pet groomer or life coach or yoga teacher, I bet your cachet would be rising. You Cancerians are about to be noticed, seen for who you are, or just plain appreciated a lot more than usual.
LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22): No other country on the planet has a greater concentration of artistic masterpieces than Italy. As for the place that has the most natural wonders and inspiring scenery per square mile: That’s more subjective, but I’d say Hawaii. I encourage you to visit one or both of those hotspots, or the closest equivalent you can manage. You need to be massively exposed to huge doses of staggering beauty for your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22): Healer Caroline Myss coined the term “woundology.” It refers to the practice of using our wounds to get power, sympathy, and attention. “I am suffering, so you should give me what I want.” When we’re in pain, we may feel we have the right to do things we wouldn’t otherwise allow ourselves to do, like going on shopping sprees or eating tasty junk food. In this scenario, pain serves us. Your assignment is to get touch with your personal version of woundology.
LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22): For years my horoscopes have been translated into Italian for the zesty Internazionale magazine. My readership there has grown so sizable that an Italian publisher approached me to create an astrology book for Italians. Late last year Robosocopo appeared in Italy but nowhere else. It was an odd feeling to have my fourth book rendered in the Italian language but not in my native tongue. I suspect you’ll have a comparable experience soon. You will function just fine in a foreign sphere. SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21): You can gain more power—not to mention charisma, panache, and love—by losing some of your cool. This is one time when too much self-control could actually undermine your authority. So please indulge in a bit of healthy self-undoing, Scorpio. Fool with your own hard and fast rules in ways that purge your excess dignity and restore at least some of your brilliant and beautiful innocence.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21): This week will be a time when you might want to get hold of a toy you loved when you were a kid, and actually play with it again; a time when you could speak so articulately about an idea you’re passionate about that you will change the mind of someone who has a different belief.
CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19): The Norwegian film Twigson is about a boy who feels so friendless and isolated that he seeks companionship with a talking twig. In the coming weeks, I encourage you to be equally as proactive in addressing the strains of your own loneliness. I’m not implying that you are lonelier than the rest of us; I’m just saying that it’s an excellent time for taking aggressive action to soothe the ache.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18): During one of 2010’s Mercury retrograde phases, astrologer Evelyn Roberts wrote that she was doing lots of things you’re “not supposed to do” during a Mercury retrograde: Buying a new computer, planning trips, making contracts, signing documents. During the current Mercury retrograde, I recommend her approach to you.
PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20): Damon Bruce is a San Francisco sports talk show host I listen to now and then. He told a story about being at a bar and seeing a guy with a tattoo of a life-sized dollar bill on the back of his shaved head. Bruce was incredulous. Why burn an image of the lowest-denomination bill into your flesh? If you’re going to all that trouble, shouldn’t you inscribe a more ambitious icon, like a $100 bill? Now apply this lesson to your own life.