Spaced out

Hurray! Singapore can now look forward to having not just two world class casinos, it will also be able to look forward to having its own solar system-class spaceport! Talk about having the best of both Las Vegas and Houston! Wow!But before we all go on celebratory binges along Pub Row, let us take note that the main attractions start at a princely price tag of US$100,000—which no amount of Workfare will be able to help the average Singaporean fork out. The only way for Average Beng to afford these pleasures will be to win whopping big (Exclusion Orders notwithstanding) at our world class casinos.However, we are a resourceful race of people. (Don’t forget that all our forefathers came to this tiny island with not much more than the shirts on their backs, and just look at Unique Singapore today! We have shirts—and pants!) So lack of filthy lucre is not going to stop us enjoying the pleasures of the spaceport without having to mortgage our souls to Lady Luck. Here’s how we can get to have facsimile space experiences.To experience the weightlessness of space: Go to any public swimming pool. Make your way to the dive area. Do a surface dive. Stay submerged at the eight foot depth. Hey presto! You’re weightless. Better yet, do this with scuba equipment.To view the curvature of the Earth: Take a globe of the world. Draw the curtains. Hold the globe about six inches from your face. Switch off the lights. Squint your eyes. Voila! You’re seeing the curvature of the Earth. Better yet, shine a tiny torch at the other end of the globe—sunrise!To experience the darkness of space: Take a bumboat out to the South China Sea. Switch off everything. Wait for midnight. Look up. Hey presto! The darkness of space.To experience astronaut food: Take desired foodstuff. Put in blender. Puree. Put pureed foodstuff in plastic bag. Insert straw. Suck furiously. Voila! Astronaut food.To experience blastoff: Go to a fairground. Find bed of nails. Leap onto it. Blastoff!