Dear Mr KIA,
Do you like to receive presents? I do, especially when they arrive right on my doorstep to greet me when I open the door to go to work in the mornings. In the past three weeks, I have received a bouquet of flowers (I’m not a fan but it’s a sweet gesture regardless), a box of chocolates (Royce!) and a hairdryer. I don’t get presents very often and I don’t usually buy anything for myself; not even new clothes! I think it’s a waste to buy new stuff when you can just reuse, don’t you think? Anyway, I’d really like to meet this guy. It might be interesting, especially if it turns out he’s into me! Do you have any bright ideas?—Curious Cat
Is the Pope Catholic? Is Megan Fox a babe? Of course I have bright ideas! Except, are you really sure you want to meet this person? First of all, it’s just weird to drop things off at someone’s doorstep unless you know exactly when this person is going to leave the house. The only way for your little Santa to know this is to hide outside your house and watch the door, which is really freaky. Secondly, it might not be a man. Think about it: Which of your neighbors is most likely to be lesbian? Lastly, why would anyone give you a hairdryer? Do you always leave your house looking like something from Planet of the Apes? Don’t set up an ambush until you know what you’re dealing with—invest in a surveillance camera from Innotel Solutions (#04-06 TechPlace II, 5014 Ang Mo Kio Ave. 5, 6227-8887), a certified partner of Certis Cisco. They have many different types (I suggest the IP Speed Dome) plus accessories like a keyboard and a time attendance system. Leave it to the camera to discover who this person is and only then decide what you want to do. I also suggest that you pay a visit to Komachi The Hair Cult (#02-07 Liang Court Shopping Centre, 177 River Valley Rd., 6339-9432). Even if you don’t change your clothes, you should at least change your hair.