Directed by: The Singapore Olympic FoundationStarring: Feng Tianwei, other pro

Is Singapore getting ready to bid for the 2020 Games? Cameras in London over the weekend caught our Olympic delegation at the Opening Ceremony furiously scribbling notes in preparation...

This Danny Boyle puts on quite a show! Provocative film-maker who made his name with a story of drugs and violence... Somebody call Royston Tan?? The censors can help us keep it short and bring costs down.

Don’t really understand these boring scenes of pastoral life and timid sheep... Reminder to feature marauding wild boar and pick-pocketing monkeys when we do ours.

messy selectively 0 up, 233,451 down  

1. A phrase coined by Singapore’s PM Lee in mid-2012 to describe his preferred process for change.
“I would become messy selectively. There are some areas where you must accept that you cannot do things in a linear or hierarchical way.”

2. A nonsensical oxymoron. A contradiction in terms. Like fine fusion food. Or a Singaporean superstar.

Blame it on the archaic language or the sucky SEO, but it seems like people have been having trouble remembering a certain Top 10 list. With so many people straying from the path of late, perhaps it’s time for a little refresher.THOU SHALT1. Have no other gods. For the record, Jason Atherton, Bruno Ménard et al are savoury chefs not saviors.2. Not make yourself an idol. Nor pass off old Idols as headline acts.3. Not take the Lord’s name in vain. And certainly not use it to help further your wife’s musical career.4.

The world’s first two-sided Monopoly board was launched last week. MONOPOLY Singapore: Then and Now offers players the chance to play with a tiffin carrier on one side or a cabriolet on the other, pay with paper money or do their banking electronically, explore Oxley Estate or its latter-day incarnation ION Orchard. Yawn.After the distinctly one-sided praise for the last local makeover—2005’s Uniquely Singapore edition—we’re overdue something exciting. Hasbro?

Diamonds are forever, they say, though in the week of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee you’d be forgiven for thinking it’s prim, white haired old ladies who’ll survive until the end of time.In the lead-up to the big event, our crack(pot) roving royal reporter, Mr Rich Chap, has been taking the monarchy’s pulse around Singapore; finding out what survives of the old Empire and how being an outpost of the “old firm” is still relevant today. Here’s an excerpt of the transcript.Rich Chap: [politely] Excuse me, good sir. We’re asking local folks like yourself a few questions.

Editor’s Note: Due to an unfortunate administrative oversight (said sight being that of an extremely cute intern who distracted us all from our work) the below Declaration Form did not reach all prospective voters (yourself included) prior to this year’s Readers’ Choice Awards.

Ultra Platinum Imperial Luxury Triple Treasure Shark Fin Restaurant

May 2012 
Set Lunch Menu

Sixteen plus plus years of printing tales about this town,

Its shops, bars and restaurants and all that’s going down,

Xcitement (and typos!) on every last page,

Hanging out down at Zouk, trying not to show our age.

Unless we’re mistaken, that’s cause for celebration:

Name of party venue, telephone and service information.

Days past we’d have written about the weekend’s one gig,

Producer’s Pitch Notes:

1. It is the distant future. Ridiculous—Singaporeans simply won’t wait that long.

2. The post-apocalyptic state of Panem is presided over from the power base of the Capitol. Can we work some corporate sponsorship in here please? Someone talk to CapitoLand?