In a week that saw not one, not two, but three grand openings (Avalon, Louis Vuitton and Pangaea, just in case you’ve been living on Mars or in Bishan for the last month), nothing captured the popular imagination quite like trying to guess which celebrity was going to show up at which event and sprinkle their stardust on proceedings.

A sideways look at the films currently on general release that we think might secretly be about Singapore.Bad Teacher—Trouble ensues when a classroom assistant goes rogue and lets some fun into school.

This week, we turn the column over to Jared Diamond; scientist, anthropologist and award-winning author of Guns, Germs, and Steel. In an article published in Discover Magazine in 1997 (http://bit.ly/oMAKyu), he appears to have presciently foreseen the trials and tribulations of running a magazine out of the backwater that is Henderson Industrial Park. With only a few minor edits, it’s over to you Mr.

Documents filed for trademark application in June suggest Singapore Airline’s new long haul budget carrier is likely to be called Scoot Airlines. That’s presumably scoot as in “To go suddenly and speedily; to hurry”, rather than “To squirt with water,” as they say in the southern US. (Viz. Flannery O’Connor’s “I wouldn’t scoot down no hog with no hose.”)Or is it perhaps short for scooter? Offering to ferry people around the region on the back of a two-wheeler might explain how they think they can keep costs down.

In a heartfelt farewell note pinned to the window of the now-shuttered Wheelock Place branch of Borders, staff expressed their sadness at the closure and gave thanks to their customers for their “support through this entire journey, and seeing us through to the end.” Sadly, they forgot to add a return address. Frustrated customers who’d turned up to sit on the window ledges for hours flicking through books they were never going to buy spend money, were left without a chance to have their voices heard. Until now.

The “mysterious grey fog” that descended upon Choa Chu Kang last week is being blamed on people burning incense paper for the Hungry Ghost Festival. Even the NEA was called in to confirm that no smoke plumes were visible by satellite. That’s two years running that CCK has been blanketed with a haze around this time of year. We guess those ghosts just like their food smoked…To judge by the overexcited headlines though, we’re all craving a bit more variety in our weather patterns.

So we’re playing China in our first group game in the World Cup soccer qualifying campaign. Aside from the mismatched size of the talent pool, initial concerns center on the fact that the match will be played in the southwestern city of Kunming. Now Kunming’s a lovely place, full of open spaces and cheery university students. Damn good noodles, too. But there’s one hitch: It’s 1,900m above sea level. That means a rather rarified atmosphere; and hard work for anyone not used to it.

With 46 the number on everyone’s lips this week, we’ve been wondering about its broader significance. Is there anything more to 46 than merely being the dialing code you need to get through to Ikea’s Swedish headquarters when you want to complain that your meatballs are cold?Well, it’s also the atomic number of palladium (thanks Wikipedia!), but who cares about real-world metals anymore?

Time was when two dimensions were enough. When a flat representation of an object would suffice because, well, you know, we’re human and we have imaginations and memory and the capacity to learn and everything, and can picture what something might look and feel and taste and smell like without having to be hit over the head with it. Humans aren’t even the only ones with that skill, you know.

The controversial decision to spend $12m buying three full-sized dinosaur skeletons. The ripping up of miles of metalwork along the old railway line. And the still hazy detail surrounding the River Safari. Coincidence? We think not. It’s time to reveal the big secret to the world: Jurassic Park is coming, folks! How else to explain the endless rehearsals for National Day?