This year’s Fourth of July celebrations were overshadowed by a diplomatic scandal involving leaked documents. Hackers have released into the public domain a series of cables entitled “How to Make Singaporeans Adore Your National Holidays”. Addressed to the Philippines, whose independence day parade plans last month were fraught with criticism, the correspondence appears to be advice from countries whose national holidays have been adopted with enthusiasm by Singaporeans. Here are some of the highlights:

From the Germans

Uncle writing you atas young people here because I know you read this atas magazine. Taxi Uncle sick of coming to pick you up in Tiong Bahru, pick you up in Keong Saik and waiting waiting waiting, and you no-show. Sibeh jia lat. 

After his offer of $5,000 in damages was rejected by PM Lee, what is blogger Roy Ngerng going to offer next to settle his libel lawsuit?

a. $5,001
b. A hug
c. The blood of his first-born child.
d. Native advertising on his blog.

On TripAdvisor’s City Survey, Singapore came second in which category?

Konichiwa! Hello Kitty here!!

I just turned 40 and I wanted to take this opportunity to thank Singapore for all your love, support and scary obsession over the years. I would say so in person, but unfortunately I don't have a mouth, so I have to write this all down.

Singapore this week announced that it has a new official title sponsor: from May 2014 the country will be rebranded as Sandsland^TM. The contract is for 500 years and comes with an option to extend, with the new sponsor taking over from the now-beleaguered finance industry as chief bankroller of the Southeast Asian nation. The partnership was announced at a private launch event, with a special appearance from popstar Jessie J singing “It’s all about the money, money, money”. Both the government and the casino industry at large described the new partnership as a perfect fit.

Time once again for our seasonal quiz. What’s been making the headlines? How closely have you been paying attention? How little do you care?

1) Why was February Singapore’s driest month?
a. Alcohol taxes went up, so everyone stopped drinking
b. There’s still a whole four months to go before the crazy-exciting Water Week 2014
c. There hadn’t been that little rain since 1869

A controversial, thought-provoking short film has been lighting up the interwebs. “Oppressed Majority” takes place in an alternate reality where the People’s Action Party are side-lined from the national conversation, denied the right to voice their opinions and endure daily rubbishing in the press. “It came from my experience as a Singaporean over the past 49 years,” wrote the filmmaker behind it. “And from the incredulity of foreigners when I told them about the comments and behavior of the people in power here.”

It’s the middle of February and love is in the air. So, too, is the Marine Corps’ MV-22B Osprey, “the world’s first production tilt-rotor aircraft, combining the best capabilities of a helicopter with the range, airspeed and payload of fixed-wing airplanes"!

It’s been an emotionally trying time for cinema-lovers this month. Titan of the Asian scene Run Run Shaw decided that, after a grand old 106 years*, it was finally time to roll the end credits and bow out. Then a crowd of more than 100 foreign workers staged a sit-in protest at the Rex, after the theater was forced to cancel the premiere of Tamil movie Veeram, for which some of them had queued up for more than six hours.