Young Members of Parliament­—or the P65s, as they’re called on “the streets” (well, in the papers, at least)—are forming a hip hop outfit to perform at next year’s Chingay Parade, in an attempt to appeal to youths. Yet, the most glaring misconception in this idea is that you can’t make someone cool. If you’re an MP first, and a hip hopper second, then that’s the natural order of things. What we would suggest the government do, if they want to appeal to young people, is to turn things around a little. Why make an MP hip ...

Our resident Sexpert, Ms. Ho, who contributes a regular sex advice column in I-S Magazine and who has counseled many a troubled individual, couple, girl, boy, and everything in between, will be lending her well honed skills to the upcoming Sexpo in November where she will be giving a short lecture about Singapore’s rising divorce rate.

Disgruntled Artist #1: Hey dude, have you heard the latest news? The Land Transport Authority is looking for artists to contribute artworks for upcoming Circle Line stations like Marymount, Lorong Chuan and Bartley. This is could be my big break! I was rejected to exhibit at the North East Line (NEL) stations, and was flat out denied an interview by the Singapore Biennale. But I’m sure they’ll be interested this time!Disgruntled Artist #2: Man, you seem too optimistic.

Singapore should be next stop for the most famous mouse on earth, if the proposal to open Disneyland at the Marina Bay Golf Course near Tanjong Rhu and the Integrated Resorts (IR) takes off. This is exciting news for fans of the beloved cartoon character, who no longer have to fly to Hong Kong to watch Mickey and company live in action, or wait for the annual Disney On Ice performance to come to town.

Singapore’s Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew recently commented that the country doesn’t possess a culture of its own. We, however, respectfully disagree, and feel that we have a very telling way of life that’s completely idiosyncratic to our sunny little island. We also believe that, like any other guest, you, our esteemed, international banking visitors, would want to immerse yourself in our culture, so here we have a little quiz for you to see just how “Singaporean” you are.What do you do if you see someone littering in public?A) Confront them about it.

Being the inquisitive bunch that we are, we were doing a little reading up on the IMF. As most of you probably already know, NGOs lobbying inside the Suntec Convention Centre are required to abide by our Miscellaneous Offences Act, which essentially safeguards public behavior. What you might not be aware of, however, are some of its quirkier clauses. The list below contains a mix of guidelines taken verbatim from the Act, plus some that we have made up ourselves.

TO: Lee Kuan Yew Fan ClubFR: A hip and happening citizenRE: Application for membershipI hope you will consider this application for membership in your esteemed organization. I’ve been a big fan of Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew ever since his days as Prime Minister. But when I read his recent comments saying that Singapore needed to become more of a “buzz” city, I couldn’t help but write in and offer a couple of suggestions (reason enough for our first intro, no?). He must be a busy man, and I was surprised he took time to visit Clarke Quay recently.

This year’s National Day Parade (NDP), the last to be held at the National Stadium, should’ve been a grand ol’ affair. It should’ve had something astonishingly different to mark this milestone. It should’ve gone out with a huge bang. Instead, what we got was a drone of familiarity, with the concept and staging evoking a strange sense of déja vu. Vernon Sum Chun Wei, who wrote to the newspaper last week, echoed this, stating that the parade “featured all the same old march-past, flashcards, aerial display of planes and parachutists, and fireworks.

A democratic vote is a sacred thing, whose integrity must be protected at all times and at all costs. Or so we have all been told.Which explains our surprise, shock and horror to learn that a recent sacred voting process in Singapore has gone seriously awry. We’re referring, of course, to the incident in the Singapore Idol contest—where what was explained as a “technical glitch” prevented the vote count for several hours. The result: songbird Mathilda D’Silva thought she had made it into the Final 12, only to discover later that the real winner of that slot was Nurul Maideen.

Should Singapore hire native speakers to help us all speak good English?