The word has gone out—smile! The reason? Some 16,000 delegates are coming to town for the International Monetary Fund and World Bank meetings in September, and Singapore wants us to welcome them with 4 million smiles, showing what a happy (not to mention Orwellian) place this is.OK, sure, we’re glad the fat-cat bankers and money guys are coming. But if the organizers really want people to be smiley come September, we can suggest a few things that would definitely put us in the party mood:1. Announce another progress package next year. No next month.2.

There is an old saying: “It’s no use locking the barn door after the horse has bolted.” That was the first thing that came to our minds when we discovered the Institute of Policy Studies has come out with survey findings on how our electorate views various aspects of the political landscape here.It found that the traditional “bread and butter” issues are not what matter most to the people of Singapore. Instead, it discovered that the people’s top interests are efficient and fair government, and the need for checks and balances in Parliament.

A minister has publicly denounced a “clever and funny”—and by now famous—podcast of a dispute between a bak chor mee vendor and his customer, commenting that such humor could detract from serious political issues.

Now that the campaign to ban the movie The Da Vinci Code from audiences under 16 years-of-age is a complete success, it is time to aim for a much more ambitious goal.We must next urge a complete ban on all stories beginning with the words “once upon a time.” It does not matter whether the stories are presented in book, film, video, cartoon or any other form. The same basic reason applies.The continued promulgation of such stories could pull apart our united society, which is founded upon certain shared beliefs.

We heartily congratulate Derek Lim, 6, on his winning the Under-7 title at the World Schools Chess Championships in Halkidiki, Greece. According to World Chess Federation General Secretary Ignatius Leong, “It’s the first time any Singaporean has won a world title in chess.” It’s a real achievement.But what we would like to know is: Did he create any ghost in his journey to the top? In chess, a ghost is an imaginary threat on the chessboard. More generally, it is also an example of misdirection.Misdirection is found in jokes like the following. Question: What can you never eat at breakfast?

“Every country has the government it deserves.”                                                 — Joseph de Maistre, 1811 

It cannot be coincidence. Nothing this significant ever happens in Singapore by coincidence. What are we talking about? We’re talking about the 6,500 cubic meters of hot air now hovering above town—just at the time when the mainstream media is desperately trying to get every apathetic person all excited about an impending election, finally announced for May 6.True, the aforesaid hot air is cleverly disguised as a helium balloon tethered at Bugis Junction and floating 40 storeys above the ground. It’s emblazoned with the sponsor’s logo in bright red and yellow across the balloon.

Singapore has featured in yet another survey. This time a human resource consultancy has found ours to be Asia’s top city to live in. We don’t care who else they asked, they did not ask us. We use their criteria—and give you the inside story.Political and social environment: The political environment is as stable as Everest. Law enforcement is superb—just try overstaying your parking coupon.Socio-cultural environment: Strict control of what can be seen and heard ensures Singaporeans’ maturity peaks at six years.

We cannot resist it.

TIME FLIES when you’re having fun … or even what passes for fun in Singapore. And so it is with mild amazement (and sometimes amusement) that we have dusted off the archives, plowed through old copies covered in mold and Cheez-Wiz, and put together this retrospective issue which looks back at 10 years of I-S Magazine—the people, the places, the events, the restaurants, the nightspots, the issues and the trends that have shaped our lives, defined our culture, made us happy and driven us crazy.Think about it.