Immediately after a survey discovers that 88.7% of Singaporeans do not know what it’s like to sign a petition, someone decides to start one—online.A Malaysian engineering scholar at Nanyang Technological University decided that he’d had quite enough of the heavily accented English used by some of his lecturers and tutors. So he launched an online petition for some action to be taken about the situation. So far, he has found a dozen supporters.Let’s put aside the fact that this petitioner is not a Singaporean.

What’s RA21? Well, it stands for Rational Apathy from age 21.

A recent survey of over 500 people by the Political Development Feedback Group, a unit of the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports, discovered some fascinating statistics about the typical Singaporean.

Does anyone know how ostriches have sex? They bury their heads in the sand, wave their butts in the air, and hope nobody notices. That, it seems, is the Ministry of Education’s (MOE) official line in regards to informing and educating our teenagers about sex. The MOE said teens should only engage in sex as part of a happy family unit, much to the chagrin of Nominated MP Eunice Olsen, who recently urged MOE to avoid a “moralistic-laden” approach to sex education.Let’s see. The average teenager will not get married until his mid or late 20s, if that early.

It will soon be Valentine’s Day—the third most lucrative retail festival after Christmas and Chinese New Year. We will let the mainstream media inundate you with ways to convince your loved ones that the love of money is indeed the root of all evil (whatever that means). We will tell you how to prove to your loved ones that you love them despite not spending any money on them.V is for Value their company: Spend time with your loved ones.

Hurray! Singapore can now look forward to having not just two world class casinos, it will also be able to look forward to having its own solar system-class spaceport! Talk about having the best of both Las Vegas and Houston! Wow!But before we all go on celebratory binges along Pub Row, let us take note that the main attractions start at a princely price tag of US$100,000—which no amount of Workfare will be able to help the average Singaporean fork out.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, what with all the goodies that were handed out last week to the old, the young, the poor, the sick, the under-paid, the under-educated and the over-worked in the 2006 Singapore budget. Problem is, this isn’t December–it’s February. All we can say is that it’s starting to sound a lot like election season, with bureaucratic cheer being spread among a plump electorate to get everyone in a nice, rosy mood. We’re not complaining, mind you—everybody likes a freebie. And with the budget showing surpluses, hey, why not share the wealth?

If anyone actually stops to think about it, he or she will quickly come to the realization that, with so much diversity in the world, anything anyone says will very likely offend someone or other. Well, almost anything. Upon further reflection, we realized that there are actually many things which are not likely to offend anyone, anywhere, anytime.

It will soon be Valentine’s Day—the third most lucrative retail festival after Christmas and Chinese New Year. We will let the mainstream media inundate you with ways to convince your loved ones that the love of money is indeed the root of all evil (whatever that means). We will tell you how to prove to your loved ones that you love them despite not spending any money on them.V is for Value their company: Spend time with your loved ones.

At last. Education in Singapore has finally turned the corner—towards the uncanny.Primary One and Two students who cannot read will be put on a revamped Learning Support Programme or LSP (the closeness of “LSP” to “Lisp” seems to have escaped our acronymizers) to bring them on par with the rest of their cohorts.This is illogical. School begins at Primary One, so we should not expect these students to be already able to read and write.

The Feedback Unit recommends that we should all be issued a “Singapore Politics” guidebook, to be written by an independent think tank. Just to make sure everyone is on the same page here, we present some interpretations of the concept “democracy.”Democracy is the government of the people, by the people, for the people.Abraham LincolnDemocracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.George Bernard Shaw A democrat need not believe that the majority will always reach a wise decision.