With the New Year already here and Chinese New Year almost upon us, everyone’s busy clearing out the boring and old to make way for the shiny and new. Getting rid of all the negative energy that’s built up in the last 12 months and replacing it with something altogether more positive and productive. Or, as the process is nowadays known: Goodbye Candy Crush, hello Candy Crush Dreamworld.

After the worst riots here in 40 years, the government moved quickly to enact an alcohol ban in Little India, citing the problems caused when large groups of men gather to drink cheap liquor on the street on Sundays, starting fights and generally making a nuisance of themselves. In some quarters the new rules were judged reactionary, if not a little racist. Thankfully, the Body Of Over Zealous executives (BOOZE) this week stepped in to clarify the rules about when, where and why you’re allowed to drink in public here.

With the winner of the 2013 Bad Sex in Fiction Award just announced (congrats to Manil Suri for this gem in The City of Devi, “...only Karun’s body, locked with mine, remains... In celebration of her breakthrough fourth star, statisticians the world over rejoice”) we can finally reveal our own submission*:
 

Time for the latest instalment of our occasional (and only occasionally funny) news quiz. How closely have you been paying attention to what’s been going on this month?

Which Internet-famous Singaporean with a superhero name has been jailed on theft and drug charges?
1. Batman bin Suparman
2. Downey bin Ironman
3. Daredevil

So the Minister for Social and Family Development, Chan Chun Sing, says pro-infidelity website Ashley Madison (tagline: Life is short, have an affair) is not welcome in Singapore. "Promoting infidelity undermines trust and commitment between a husband and wife, which are core to marriage," he says. A Facebook group petitioning against Ashley Madison's plans to launch here next year garnered more than 25,000 likes in less than a week.

Real-life escape games are suddenly all the rage, with the likes of Freeing SG, Lockdown and Real Escape popping up all over Singapore. We spoke to the Executive Escaper behind the phenomenon to
find out more.

I-S So what’s the deal?
Ex Esc Basically you pay us money and we lock you in a room.

I-S We pay you?
Ex Esc Yes. Then you have to find your way out.

EDITOR’S NOTE
This column was supposed to be a wry reflection on the crazy, amazing evolution of Singapore in the 18 years since I-S began. However, following recent changes to employment laws to protect the local labor force, the magazine will henceforth be written not by the people most willing or best qualified to do it but instead by the first Singaporean to walk through the door. This week, we welcome Edward Tan, a charming old taxi uncle who simply got lost looking for a bathroom.

Car prices have been falling in Singapore. But where does this rank in the bigger picture of things you would never expect to happen? We’ve put together a cut-out-and-keep scale for future use.

BIT OF A SHOCK, BUT I KIND OF SAW IT COMING

HOLY HELL, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

Another slap in the face to Singapore this month, with Kanye West making a surprise guest appearance at the wedding of the grandson of Kazakhstan’s President and Repressor-in-Chief Nursultan Nazarbayev. Elsewhere, Dennis Rodman was back in North Korea to hang with his “pal” Kim Jong-Un, a.k.a. the guy who had his ex-girlfriend executed by firing squad in August.