My F1 weekend game plan, initially, was to ignore the whole F1 shebang, but that’s sort of like not hearing those vuvuzelas during the recent World Cup or see someone playing Angry Birds on the iPhone. It’s constantly there, and always annoying.

Welcome to Sixapore, the little nation that dreams big. Six Olympic medals by 2016. Six medals to add to the two we’re going to win in London, and the two we’ve won in the past 45 years. Good thing our shooters are among our brightest hopes, as that’s one hell of a target.As the most glamorous of sports descends on the city once more, it’s time to cut through all the hot air (if only there were medals for dealing with hot air; we’d clean up!) and determine exactly which disciplines we ought to be focusing on.

TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20): The outsourcing of fortune telling is well underway. Psychics and astrologers from India have been showering me with email invitations to take advantage of their services. “By the grace of the towering flames of goodness that burn the roof of our temple,” said one, “we have pledged to slave away our lives to cause the happy encroachment of bubbling karma on your masterful head.

TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20): The outsourcing of fortune telling is well underway. Psychics and astrologers from India have been showering me with email invitations to take advantage of their services. “By the grace of the towering flames of goodness that burn the roof of our temple,” said one, “we have pledged to slave away our lives to cause the happy encroachment of bubbling karma on your masterful head.

What can we buy with $2 million?• One million plates of chicken rice to feed a whole province in Kenya.• Two million cheap paintbrushes for our starving local artists.• Ten thousand tickets to see Sir Ian McKellan on stage.• One thousand glistening gold taps to beautify our public toilets.• One million packs of peanuts to feed the monkeys.• Five George W.

Following a series of unfortunate the events that have been plaguing Singapore and the world recently—the Virginia Tech shootings, the Sungei Pandan drowning, and another Ah Lian winning Miss Singapore Universe—we decided to consult our crystal ball for some updates on future disasters, and perhaps take some action steps to avoid them. Here’s what we’re told:• The government’s attempt to become hip reaches its logical conclusion.

TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20): It appears you’re cooperating (sort of) with an authority figure who’s using the carrot-and-stick routine on you. I suppose that could lead you at least part of the way to the promised land—especially if you really believe you can’t motivate yourself without the authority’s prodding. But if you plan to continue in this vein, Taurus, can I please convince you to ask for the biggest, freshest carrot and a beautifully decorated stick?

Singapore ministers will be getting a hefty pay rise as part of a controversial ministerial salary hike that has infuriated many. MM Lee, who stands to earn at least $3 million with the hike, said in its defense that Singapore needs “an extraordinary government with extraordinary government officers to support it.” In coming up with the ministerial and civil service pay rise, the government created a wage formula where a higher percentage of pay is now linked to performance.